20 Considerations Before Dating an Architect

by | Jul 13, 2020

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Dating an architect seems like the perfect find in the sea of love that we all fish in.

A creative genius who draws something and then actually makes it a reality. 

Elegant ribbon-cutting events for the newest addition to the city’s skyline. 

Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?

The reality of dating an architect might involve more coffee than champagne, and looking at the same sketch for 2 months.
Ted Mosby had us dream of the hopeless romantic who builds the next Empire State building.

Looking back at his depiction, being an architect often looks a lot different than reality.

We’ve compiled a list of 20 considerations you need to think about before dating an Architect to prepare you for the ride of your life.

1. Their heart is already taken

relationship status

One thing you need to prepare for when meeting an architect is that they are already taken by someone else.

Their job.

Architecture is the committed relationship they got into when they first signed up to University.

There will be times where you get stood up for studio sessions or construction site visits. And you will have to deal with that.

Being passionate is one of their greatest qualities, even if it affects other parts of their life. For a passionate architect, designing a sleek home renovation will often take priority over their dating life.

Would you rather find someone who’s dull and directionless?

Probably not. 

2. Architects are (mostly) not rich

empty wallet

It is a common misconception that Architects make a lot of money. There are exceptions of Architects that made the big break.

Surely firms like Fosters and Partners don’t have to worry about paying the rent with cashing over 2 million USD a year, excluding their highest paying project. 

Usual Architects mentioned in Forbes lists fall in the older age category.

You are more likely to come across a younger, less successful partner, who will not be cutting red ribbons any time soon.

However, don’t be devastated. This may be a perfect opportunity to start your own business, and luckily, there are plenty of opportunities out there to do so. Whether you are interested in marketing, e-commerce, or any other type of job, the world is your oyster!

In reality, architecture doesn’t involve skyscrapers, but a lot of renovations.

The broke artist curse doesn’t spare the building designers. 

On the good side, this makes architects very good at handling the money they have.

This doesn’t mean they are stingy, just very specific. 

Tasteful limited finds will grace your bedside table. 

Time to say goodbye to your IKEA shelf, because Sundays are now for antique flea markets. 

3. There always will be pens around

The architect’s significant other comes with a new, never-ending supply of pencils.

No matter if it’s black, blue or red, any color you need won’t be hard to find. 

Having constant access to pencils can prove very beneficial.

Instead of putting everything on a phone, you can return to having your shopping list on paper.


If your architect and you have already made it to living together, beware of the laundry.

The endless supply of pencils often comes out of a black hole in their back pockets. Their dominantly black wardrobe is pretty much immune to any damage. 

Yours might not be.

Prepare to throw out some white shirts, and keep your socks away. 

At least the monotone wardrobe makes laundry sorting a lot easier. 

4. You get your personal Arts and Crafts store

architecture tools

The utensils supply doesn’t stop with the pencils. Any arts and craft stationery is likely to appear around your partner and their home. 

The issue of not having a glue gun around is now one for the past. 

Dating an architect can come in handy, as they often are, handy. 

Knowing your prospective partner can fix the basics themselves is reassuring.

Broken shoe? Superglue.

Your personal art supply store also pays off when the festivities approach.

To make up for their smaller budget, they can craft the best presents. Wedding season seems a lot less intimidating now. 

And you won’t have to worry about buying your own laser cutter any longer.

What a relief.

5. New destinations

Eiffel Tower Paris

Architects can show you the world. 

And they will, no matter what the payment checks look like.

Just not the world by the ocean. Or in the mountains.

They will show you the world of granite structures and stuck decorations. If you like a good city holiday you are in luck because with an architect by your side a lot of those are coming for you. 

Prepare for treks on the path of architectural history with your personal tour guide. 

Rome, Paris, and Athens make for good destinations and also offer delicious food if your guide allows you a lunch break. 

Did you know the Luxor Obelisk on the Paris Place de la Concorde is also the biggest sundial in the world?

After returning from holidays now, you certainly will. 

In case you go on an actual guided tour, your architect might jump in to correct them.

Being a little embarrassed is okay.

It’s also inevitable to end up with a photo album full of pictures from your trips. Without you or your family in it.

Just a lot of buildings.

6. There will be a lot of books

books too many books

If you manage to convince your significant other to join you on a trip to the beach, you will need a book to relax with. 

It will come in handy to have a whole library at home to chose from.

Strictly architecture content of course. 

Having every edition of the encyclopedia is essential.

So are any other architecture-related publications from the last 5 centuries. 

Decorating your flat will prove a lot easier, as half of the space is already covered by books. 

7. And anything else architecture related

cartoon of man with globe and book

Besides books, the flat is also covered in anything other architecture-related. 

Sketches flying around the rooms like paper planes, sometimes folded into one. 

Instead of buying vases or statues you can arrange your partner’s insane collection of models around the tables. 

Be careful when handling them. 

Breaking their models might break a bit of their hearts with it.

8. You’ve now joined Architecture 101

architecture joke

Going on exclusively cultural holidays will eventually pay off. The good thing about dating an architect is that their passion and knowledge will rub off on you. 

Whether you want it or not.

After a couple of months of coffee dates, you could easily pass architecture 101, without the endless all-nighters.

Architects spend a majority of their early years learning the industry lingo

Selfless as they, this knowledge will be passed to you. You can start to learn about world-famous architects and buildings!

Architectural jargon sounds like a mystery to outsiders but once you are in, you are in.

The longer you spend together, the more of their jokes will be understandable.

Still not all.

The world of architecture humor is almost as big as their heart.

9. Architects have a lot of patience

detailed sketch

Patience is key.

This counts for almost every relationship.

To make it through the hard times with your partner you will both need to show a lot of patience, working together.

Good thing, that architects are as patient as it gets. 

Spending years of their lives sketching the same floor plan over and over again, just to then do the same in modeling; makes you acquire a certain level of patience that can’t be matched.

Gluing 1000 miniature trees to a model requires fine-tuning that will help your relationship as well.

If you are someone who likes to provoke conflict to get what they want, you might be out of luck with this partner.

It’s nearly impossible to be more annoying than their clients.

Learn to talk it out.

10. Every place is educational

architects road trip
Photo by Alex Jumper on Unsplash

You’ve learned about the educational trip abroad that await you. 

But when money is tight and the most traveling you are getting done is to the grocery store, you won’t be left empty-handed.

An adventure down the road might include a history lesson on the embassy building you just passed. 

Or an in-depth opinion on why the new bypass near your home is a technical disaster.

Driving through the countryside to visit families for the holidays won’t have much to offer for analysis. 

Fear not, there are more podcasts out there than you could ever possibly listen to.

Your architecture classes don’t end because it’s Christmas.

11. Architects are coffee snobs

architects love coffe

Whether it’s the all-nighters studying for the degree show back in college or staying up until the late-night drawing for another project deadlines.

A humans best friends might be dogs, but an architects is coffee.

No matter the time of the day, they are always seen with a steaming cup in their hand.

This makes them excellent baristas. It’s like having your own brewery at home.

But the years of drinking coffee also makes them quite picky when it comes to the magical bean.

Prepare to make room for quality arabica coffee and wave goodbye to the instant sachets left in the cupboard. 

Coffee is an easy way to impress your date.

If you are still on route to dating an architect, do some research and suggest a date at a good coffee shop. Knowing 2 facts about coffee can go a long way.

12. Architects can stay up all night

all nighter architect

What brought them to their coffee addiction in the first place are the all-nighters they had to endure during their studies and continue on in their career. 

Dating an architect means you’re dating a night owl in many cases.

As a partner, you might be happy that they can  stay up all night doing more fun things, being used to the lack of sleep. 

But in most cases, they are more likely to have already stayed awake the previous nights working, so on a day of their brain clocks out at 7 pm 

All night action is reserved for pen and paper.

13. You only have architect friends

Dating an architect comes with the free addition of new architect friends.

Like other profession, your partner often attracts people from the same industry. Let’s say you work with data visualization dashboards, you won’t be meeting many like-minded people.

Good that you’ve picked up some of the lingoes, this will help you blend into the group.

After an hour of discussion on the sustainability of the new opera house being built even the most dedicated partner can zone out. 

Don’t be surprised if by the time you zone back in the topic still hasn’t changed.

Architects never run out of things to say.

14. They’ve got a wandering eye

Dreaming of long walks in the city with your loved one. Staring into each other’s eyes in the moonlight. Sounds pretty romantic. 

Until you notice they aren’t looking at you but at the bridge behind you.

Architects are prone to have a wandering eye. Not in a bad way. 

They won’t get distracted by other people during a date. 

Walking past a new refurbishment is another story.

15. Architects do a lot of overtime

architects working overtime

As you may have guessed from their lack of sleep and coffee addiction, being an architect involves a lot of overtime.

Not paid overtime.

This might be where the misconception about their wealth comes from. Someone who spends all weekend in a studio surely are paid back for that sacrifice. 

The issue of overworking interns has become so widespread that in 2016 a new federal law was passed in the USA demanding that companies pay their employees time and a half for their overtime.

With 90-hour weeks leading up to competitions, an architects schedule can be insane. 

Previously unpaid as well.

Prepare for some lonely nights, and have an open ear to complaints.

16. Architecture is everywhere

Pent house New York City
Spider-man penthouse by Architectural digest

For architects, the job doesn’t end once they leave the office. They have the power to connect everything around them to architecture. 

It’s possible to use this to your advantage.

Want to watch a movie genre they don’t particularly like? Chose one that plays in an architecturally interesting location. Luckily almost every rom-com plays in New York with sufficient scenes of the Empire State building

And no spy movie misses out on London.

17. Architects talk a lot without saying

architects think to much

If you are familiar with How I Met Your Mother you will know the architect looking for love, Ted Mosby. His portrayal is said to be one of the most accurate when it comes to showing the struggle in the industry. 

His character, while lovable, has a habit of talking around the point, and constantly correcting his friends about everything. 

To survive in a studio, architects have to be very good at giving their opinion. 

They have a way of making you question your own.

Don’t be fooled by their talking around the point, they don’t know everything.

If you want to win an argument, prepare to justify every statement.

Opinions that are not backed up have little value to an architect.

Good luck with the fighting. 

18. Gifts are easier than ever

Architects being so passionate about their job makes gift shopping a lot easier.

Although you might have found enough pencils in your flat to last a lifetime, they won’t see it like that. 

Architecture related things are a very broad category.

Books, notebooks, pencils, pens.

More glue for the glue gun.

Another encyclopedia.

Or maybe get them a subscription to a new software tool to play around with? (we have a list with 140+ tools for architects – just check right below)

As creative individuals, they will appreciate a creative effort from you as well. 

It might be hard to master their humor but once you get it, you will nail every present.

(Coffee machines work wonders)

Get your Architect lover a great gift! Check out these 140+ Software Tools”

19. Architects are never satisfied

choose yourself your mood

After spending a lot of time with an architect, it will become clear that they don’t love anything that already exists. Every construction project could’ve been done differently. 

They would have designed the bridge much better themselves. And the color your neighbors are painting their house doesn’t compliment the original style of the building. 

They will talk about projects they like, but always systematically criticize it at the same time. Often in the same sentence.

If you appreciate honesty, you’re in luck.

They’re not scared to give you helpful critique when you ask for it. 

20. You won’t need to worry about the future

dream home project
Your new home

If you manage to get yourself to date an architect and dealt with the 19 things mentioned above, you are looking towards a bright future.

How convenient that the one by your side can design that future for you.

When it comes to starting a family and eventually getting your own house, your architect will make sure it’s the best home you can find. Whether it’s finding the best offer on the market or even building it themselves.

You won’t have to worry about it. They will do enough of that for both of you. 


Do you recognize the architect in your life, or yourself in this list? Do you have more points to add to the list? Anything we missed? Don’t hesitate to contact ur or leave a comment below!

We LOVE to hear from you!

Related Article: “The Best Architecture Schools in Europe”

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1 Comment

  1. Susan Smith

    Hey very nice blog!


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